Known and unknown Swedish girls in my dream.+ something about my tongue

Of all the dreams I must have dreamt last night here are 2 of the 3 that I remember. The third one is obese and commands it's own post proceeding this one. Back story regarding the characters in this dream follows within this post. I know nobody reads this anymore because it died but maybe some ghosts can work out my dreams?

I was sat on the floor of an unknown bedroom in Sweden. To my right was a wardrobe containing a mirror attached to the middle panel. In the room with me are 2 of Leylla’s friends, Emilia and Maria. They are both highly amused at something and Maria passes to Emilia some fake, black eyebrows that are in the shape of a wide, inverted V.She attaches them to her face whilst shielding the results. When she takes her hands away, her face is contorted in such a hilarious, villainous way -complimented by the eyebrows- that we all fall about pissing ourselves. It’s sort of like count von count from sesame street, done in a hammer-horror style but better. I start to reach for my camera to take a photo of Emilia’s comedy face but before I can she passes the eyebrows to Maria. She now makes a face too, it’s pretty funny and we laugh quite hard. Maria realises that Emilia’s face is class and so passes the eyebrows back without a trace of bitterness.

Now however we are sat in a different room of the house and Leylla is sat in between both of them. Her hair is now an afro with way too much hair on top to make it seem like a cone, this causes her face to look chubby and accentuates the worst feature of her face, her nose. The clothes are completely different from the type she would normally wear. A plain, dark green t shirt is all I remember; it had stains on it and is something you’d expect a really poor American child to wear. The look in her eyes was as if she had been half-lobotomised.

Emilia is making the funny face again and I really want to take a photo of it but feel that I can’t because Leylla would have a go at me and later at Emilia –In real life she controls some of her friends through fear and her outrageous, unnecessary emotional tantrums. I feel disheartened because I can’t do what I want to do. I look at Leylla and then realise I don’t want to look at her anymore. I choose to look at Maria because she has such a pleasant face. The dream ended.

*It is weird that I should dream about Maria because I only ever met her briefly twice in my life and didn’t even have a proper one on one conversation, maybe a few words in a group conversation. I have no idea what kind of person she is. Obviously she is some kind of representation of Sweden/me in Sweden that I cannot figure out.

This is the second time or so she has been in my dreams since I have been here though. In another her and her sister, Anja had come to visit me in England. I would ask them a simple question in English and then they would talk together for about a minute in Swedish, start laughing a lot and then Maria would turn and very sharply give blunt one word answers. It felt very odd.

I used to dream about Anja quite a lot when I was going out with Leylla but we would normally just be sat, calmly talking about things. I don’t remember anything specific.

I dreamt about Leylla one other time in the 2 and bit weeks I have been here. I was walking near the train station in central Stockholm when I saw her. I called out her name and she saw me, started to cry and then ran away. I started to chase her but after a minute I completely stopped. What would I do if I caught up with her? All I wanted to do was talk and if she didn’t want to how could I make her. I just lie on the pavement and put my hands around my head.

This is the first time I dreamt about Emilia since I have been here. When Leylla and I lived together she visited us in Manchester for a week. She kept telling me how ugly Emilia was before she came and that if I made a move on her then she would go through with it because she didn’t care about Leylla. I wasn’t sure if this was some kind of test. After I first saw Emilia Leylla told me that she thought I was attractive which perplexed me even more. If she thought this way about Emilia then why invite her to stay? Because Leylla had lowered my expectations of how Emilia would look and act I was surprised when I met her. She looked like the kind of girl I would normally fancy and somehow she made a nose piercing look well.

Buck 65 was playing a gig at the Night & day on the second day of her visit. Leylla had bought 2 tickets and promised that I could have the other one; she kept telling me how good a time I would have. When Emilia was here Leylla decided that she wanted to go to the gig by herself because someone needed to stay and look after Emilia. The logical thing would be for Leylla to either not go to the gig or just maybe give Emilia the other ticket. No, in Leylla’s world it was now MY duty to stay with her friend from Sweden, the one who I had met the day before for the first time. It would have been easy to stick on a DVD or something but then I would feel uncomfortable because I feel better once I have had a proper conversation with someone, otherwise my mind starts to play paranoid tricks. Instead I spent the time hanging out, talking to Emilia and had a really good time. It felt comfortable and I suppose in the end it was the best thing because 3 people is a crowd sometimes and it might have been awkward between us if we had to be around each other for a week.

Upon Leylla’s return she was angry that we had connected with each other. She wanted me to, and I quote, “get on with her friends, but not too well.” Hmm. Such clear and specific guidelines, totally arbitrary in their complete unjustness.

Despite Leylla’s concerns we were all sleeping in the same bed. She demanded that we should leave the dirty sheets on because that’s what Emilia would do. I declined and put fresh sheets on. As the week went on I started to like Leylla less and less because of the way she was treating both me and Emilia. We went out to a shit forest rave and dropped pills. Leylla was in the bathroom and overheard me and Emilia plotting against her and saying how much we loved each other. She then realised we had been talking in Swedish and that was impossible for me so therefore was hallucinating

Leylla kept asking me if I fancied Emilia. She kept going on and on about it so much that I started to wonder myself. She kept saying that Emilia was the worst person out of all of her friends who I could like, that she was the most forbidden chocolate in the sweet shop. On and on and on she would rant. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t enjoy being told what to do and want things that I’m not supposed to, allowed to have. By saying these things Leylla was only creating a situation she feared so much. I hadn’t even thought these things about Emilia, why would I? She was my girlfriend’s friend. All I wanted to do was be a good host and be nice to her. It was a bonus that I genuinely started to like her quite a lot, but only on a friendship level. I hadn’t considered the physical side of Emilia apart from the first meeting when I was like “oh, she’s not ugly.” Leylla kept putting all these ideas in my head. I didn’t know if I liked Emilia in that way but I do know that I liked her more than I liked Leylla during that week long visit.

Emilia had to sleep upstairs after a while. One night I had a dream about me and her having really passionate, bed breaking sex. I woke up worried and sweating to be greeted by Leylla.

“I just had a really horrible nightmare that you and Emilia got together. Did you dream about it too?”

I didn’t wanna lie to my girlfriend particularly but the consequences of admitting this would be devastating for both me and Emilia so I was forced to lie for the greater good. It freaked me out a lot that we had had the same dream and woken up at the same time

Leylla broke up with me during that visit, went mental, and kept calling one of my other housemates who had gone to her new flat to see if she could stay. Leylla was going seriously mental and saying “oh, now you can sleep together and fuck each other like you wanted to all along.” Other nasty things were said. Emilia and I were just sat in the front room talking about what happened and why Leylla had gone that way. I hated Leylla so much at that point that I wanted her to leave so I wouldn’t have to hear her spiteful words. Someone like her drains the life out of you. She still kept going on about me and Emilia. It was starting to seem like a pretty good idea actually. I liked Emilia a lot more emotionally and physically at that point and I wondered if she would be able to swap her ticket with Leylla so that she would be the one to disappear and then Emilia could stay behind. I concluded that my thoughts maybe weren’t my own and I had just been drawn into Leylla’s poisonous world.

Leylla refused to take Emilia to the airport. I had to go to a new job I had started and actually liked so I couldn’t take her any further than town. I stole a book for Emilia and some food I think and said goodbye even though I was 25 minutes late for work. I felt sorry that she had to be so scared of Leylla and what she would do. Could she not see how insecure and weak she was? Probably that’s what made her seem so dangerous.

Leylla’s version of sanity returned after Emilia left and she actually apologised….probably never did to her friend. We fell deeply back in love and things went up and down the way they usually went. I thought about Emilia every now and then but only in a friendly way, never in a sexual way. However, for 2 solid months after that she would be in my dreams in one way or another. Usually heavily sexual. I started to become disturbed by it all and had to admit it to one of my close friends to gain advice.

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My other dream

I spent a lot of time practising rolling my R’s. Eventually succeeding. I still cannot do this in real life, finding it embarrassing and irritating when contemplating my deficiency. However, when I mastered this skill -which I desire so badly- in my dream, I felt empty inside, possibly a little contemptuous.