The poorest of schemes
The Swedes seem to have a more hi-tech day to day existence than the island dwelling monkeys of Britain. In the library you are given your own plastic swipe card which you can use at various machines, along with your pin number, to access various services. This includes scanning out your own books in a checkout style way, returning books, as well as being able to book time on the internet and computers.
All buses have not one door but three. Only people coming onto the bus use the door next to the driver, which means no one is pushing past each other to get on or off. The exiting people make use the back two doors. I have had no money for as long as I can remember now and have been walking to town most days. On the way home I wait for people to get off the bus and then run in through one of the back exits and ride home for free.
However, my toes have blisters now from walking and I needed a method to get to town for free in case I am ever in a rush or my toes are too sore to walk. When I come home from town there are always people getting on or off as it is the main stop, when I want to travel to town the back doors are practically always closed and so my previously explained method is ineffective.
On the buses you have a card that you top up at the local depot and this enables you to take 10 trips on the bus. You use this card on a machine at the front of the bus, it reads your card, displays how many trips you have left, and then beeps when you press the card to the machine. When I saw this for the first time I said to Lla:
"I don't understand"
she started to explain the logics of it and I stopped her saying:
"No, I mean I don't understand why people don't just record the beeping of the machine and get on for free."
I received a look that indicated that most people wouldn't think in that way and that it was probably a futile endeavour.
A few weeks later I stumbled across an old style tape recording device (see picture in "my possessions") and instantly fell in love with it. It is quite bulky yet one of the features it boasts about is being slim line. I'm not sure exactly how old it is but it brags a bit further down the body that it has a "FULL AUTO STOP" meaning that when it gets to the end of the tape... it stops. This futuristic recording darling also has a little handle that extends out so you can carry it along like a little briefcase. Perfect.
I made a couple of recordings of the beep, listening to each when I got home. There is so much background noise of me walking, the radio of the bus driver and basically just a lot of static. It sounds fucking ridiculous and is kind of embarrassing. Nevertheless, this stupid scheme has worked for the past 2 days in a row without fail: me holding the tape player, hitting the machine with my card and pressing pause, releasing the din. Every time it happens it gets more and more cringeworthy.
The poorest of schemes.
All buses have not one door but three. Only people coming onto the bus use the door next to the driver, which means no one is pushing past each other to get on or off. The exiting people make use the back two doors. I have had no money for as long as I can remember now and have been walking to town most days. On the way home I wait for people to get off the bus and then run in through one of the back exits and ride home for free.
However, my toes have blisters now from walking and I needed a method to get to town for free in case I am ever in a rush or my toes are too sore to walk. When I come home from town there are always people getting on or off as it is the main stop, when I want to travel to town the back doors are practically always closed and so my previously explained method is ineffective.
On the buses you have a card that you top up at the local depot and this enables you to take 10 trips on the bus. You use this card on a machine at the front of the bus, it reads your card, displays how many trips you have left, and then beeps when you press the card to the machine. When I saw this for the first time I said to Lla:
"I don't understand"
she started to explain the logics of it and I stopped her saying:
"No, I mean I don't understand why people don't just record the beeping of the machine and get on for free."
I received a look that indicated that most people wouldn't think in that way and that it was probably a futile endeavour.
A few weeks later I stumbled across an old style tape recording device (see picture in "my possessions") and instantly fell in love with it. It is quite bulky yet one of the features it boasts about is being slim line. I'm not sure exactly how old it is but it brags a bit further down the body that it has a "FULL AUTO STOP" meaning that when it gets to the end of the tape... it stops. This futuristic recording darling also has a little handle that extends out so you can carry it along like a little briefcase. Perfect.
I made a couple of recordings of the beep, listening to each when I got home. There is so much background noise of me walking, the radio of the bus driver and basically just a lot of static. It sounds fucking ridiculous and is kind of embarrassing. Nevertheless, this stupid scheme has worked for the past 2 days in a row without fail: me holding the tape player, hitting the machine with my card and pressing pause, releasing the din. Every time it happens it gets more and more cringeworthy.
The poorest of schemes.
posted by Swedophilia at 13:31
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home